Subject nightmares

I commented on Steve's blog: http://www.intermsoftomatoes.blogspot.com/ to his younger self. He spoke about subject choices and how he finally made his decision in this regard. I wish I was as certain as he is in what he has decided.

should've known better...

Dearest Capable but naive one,
I realise that this letter will serve as a reflection of who you once were, and who you are now. But I must appreciate the fact that those two people are not entirely different from one another. The reflection will mainly result from a realisation of the somewhat ‘expected’. You went through two years of A-Levels, where you learnt all about responsibility for yourself and the choices you make. I say this because I never thought that I would be sitting here today thinking “If only someone had warned me...” That is not something you of all people should be thinking. But I suppose everything that happens, does so for a reason. And with that in mind, you walking into this degree thinking you would have major problems with subjects you chose was perhaps a little naive. Yes it is true that you always find a way to make it through whatever academic situation, but come on now... Even at first year university level, you should have expected that academic work would be a tad heavy and would actually require you to do some work. But then again, I appreciate that you really did think the subjects you opted for were the best possible options for you, and so you never expected that you would be sitting somewhere, eight or so months down the line wondering why you made such choices. It is sad, but it is your reality. Walking into anything while you are blind to the fact that you will actually have to do some work, instead of just getting by only on your “common sense” was a major mistake. And I would like for you to appreciate this, it will catch up with you at some point. Not having failed as yet, is no guarantee.

Yours in you... Sincerely

my younger self...

Dear Angela
I haven’t heard from you for a long time. But I still remember the last time you wrote to me, when you asked me how was I doing? And you told me about how excited you were to start a new life in University. Well, lately I was thinking a lot about you and about the question you asked me and I think it’s only fair for me to tell you this now rather than later.
I’m not doing well to be quite honest. I always thought varsity life was the best thing ever but it’s not. There are things that I always took for granted like making friends and fitting in. I always thought making friends was the easiest thing anyone can do but now I have realized that it’s not. When I got here I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t understand how to make people accept me for who I am.
I remember those endless days and night when my soul was dying with sorrow, heart aching with pain and I would cry myself to sleep. I even remember saying to myself I’m not here to make friends or to fit in but I’m here to study. But eventually I realized what was wrong with me. I looked myself in the mirror which reflected where I was coming from and where I was. Then I realized that I was the girl from rural areas with nothing less and nothing more, but where I was everyone was coming from this well know suburb and they had something to say about themselves which I didn’t have.
But through everything I told myself that I wasn’t going to change for the sake of fitting in, because I wanted people to accept me for who I am. Though this was tough road for me, I went to doctors and clinical psychologist because now I was suffering from depression. Though people still had nasty things to say about the girl from rural areas.
One thing I have learnt from this experience is that if you believe you can weather any storm. Hope you will also learn something from my experience. Your altitude and determination will determine how far you go in life.
Love Aza

To My Younger Self

Dear Friend
It is my greatest pleasure to hear that you are still alive and kicking after we have been separated for a long time. I am pleased that you are coming to Rhodes University for your tertiary studies. This then serves as a great opportunity to share with you one of those experiences that even make me laugh even when I’m sad some of the times.
I’m very glad that I am at Rhodes University and that I would be there to give you the warmest welcome. One thing for sure is that what we expect to find at University is not what we would see. Especially a University like Rhodes which is formed by different students from all over the world which makes it a rainbow university gives rise to different societies. There are a wide range of societies, which people can affiliate to and they can join in the different types of entertainments which are provided by the different societies. Some of the societies are Zimsoc, Ansoc, Shark and Lesoc. When it comes to this issue of entertainment one needs to consider which exactly one needs to join.
It was such a brilliant Wednesday evening when my friend called me and said that we should go to Mullins where the societies were showcasing so that people could sign in for the societies of their choices. Inside my heart I was so glad that at least we have been welcomed by entertainment. I signed for almost eleven societies and little did I know that the affiliation fees would be subtracted from my student account. I realised it later that the money I had affiliated for was almost R2000. This meant that my printing credit, my money for handouts and money for vacation accommodation had been used up. I had to call mom and tell her that mom I had mismanaged my finances, to which she had to pour a few harsh words before sending money to me.
Sweety, you need to be careful and not sign in for every society but for those which you think can suit you. For you really know that a lot of salt in the soup will spoil it, likewise do not over do it.
Hope to meet you soon.
Your loving friend
Sharleen.

To MY Younger Self

Wake Up Mini Me!

Dear Younger Self

Right now you are most probably attempting (rather unsuccessfully as I recall) to study for your final Mathematics paper and have fallen into one of your deep fantastical reveries. Why you continued on higher grade and how you will pass with a C is still baffling considering the amount of daydreaming that has already crept and will continue to creep into your study hours. I don’t want to disturb your scurrying imagination but I think it might be better if I give you a little bit of insight into your future to prevent you from experiencing too much of a disappointment at how misled your view of life at Rhodes really is. You are now, as I was, under the misconception that Rhodes is a dreamlike, inconceivably liberal place, devoid of the things you hate so much about your hometown. It might well not be as closed-minded as ‘die klein dorp wat Srings genoem is’ but a surprisingly large number of infected rats have, unfortunately, found their way into the Rhodent community. It is still different though: you certainly won’t have to witness as much blatant prejudice-driven acts and attitudes as you do now, but the closed-minded mentality lurks here as it does everywhere in the world. Unfortunately there aren’t the 3000 or so hippies you expected: only a minority of dread-locked, bear-footed or sack-wearing inhabitants. Prejudice exists here even though it is a lot more undercover than you’re used to. You will discover that this is actually worse because you’ll become frustrated as you won’t know what to do about it. You won’t be able to be what is termed ‘weird’ without being labeled and placed in the minority group or at the very least given a few puzzled looks. And finally, although I don’t think this will deter you, you will get looked at ‘funny’ if you dye your hair green.

Good luck mini me,
Amy Green (from the future).