Should we hope for the better?

There comes another hot and debatable issue.Obama won the Us presidential election.Should we opt for change.Others are already saying that at least there is a change in the world social set up because race and discrimination are no longer order of the day.Nairobi people are already opting to be given free visas to America.African leaders are so hopeful to such an extent that evryone is saying that they hope for a change in the foreign policy.So what should we say for this?Does this signify change?Is it the proper season for the world change?

LasT Post For NOW

Well this is my last blog post. I will get my single extra mark for 10 blog posts. I am quite surprised: I actually enjoy blogging. After all my de-motivated talk in the beginning I think I may have had a complete turn around.

I’m glad this assignment is over though, because I’m not a fan of group work so all that is left is individual studying. That last statement is quite ironic in view of the fact that I do Drama and with that, group work is imperative. I suppose it’s also imperative to journalism.
Perhaps, like my views regarding blogging, my dislike for group work will change. But for now I’m still relieved it’s over.

I have been thinking. Maybe I will start my own blog in the holidays. It can’t hurt right? It will be helpful if I major in Journalism (I just have to anxiously wait for that acceptance letter). The only question is do I remain anonymous or broadcast my identity? I might have more freedom to say what I want if I stay undercover. On the other hand if I want to get myself well known (which I might not) I will have to reveal my identity.

gooDbye HiSt 102

The 23rd October 2008 was a very sad day in my life. It was my last history lecture and perhaps the last time I will ever hear the pessimistic yet, oh so wise, words of Prof. Julian Cobbing (not to mention his distinctive hand gestures).

A lot of people will not understand this affinity for History 102 and its lecturer but I feel the course has opened my mind and made me more aware in countless ways. I now look with a more critical eye on the way I behave in my everyday activities. And I now, of course, recognise the corporations for who they really are!

I religiously attended lecturers throughout the semester to catch the next episode on the downward spiral of the fate of the planet and the human race. I loved the course because it wasn’t “history history”. It was so broad and all-encompassing and allowed me to put most things in perspective.

I genuinely felt a deep pang of sadness last week Thursday and couldn’t even bring myself to tell Cobbing what I thought of the course.

The one redeeming factor is that there is an exam lecture-session-thing tomorrow. *yay* But that actually just means that tomorrow will be the last episode of History 102 *ahhh*

aDDIction To PieRcingS

A lot of people who have piercings or tattoos say it’s addictive and that is why they’re always saving up for a new addition. I currently find myself doing exactly that. As soon as I have the cash I’m off to get some more metal punctured into me.

Yesterday I stopped myself and thought “Why?” I couldn’t actually answer myself. My current tally of piercings is enough. I don’t look scary but you can still notice them. Any more and people might start avoiding me in the street. Perhaps not in Grahamstown, but certainly back home.

So if I don’t think a new piercing will make me look more attractive why do I want one? Do I want to start scaring strangers off? Not particularly. It isn’t even a rebellion thing because I don’t live wit my parents so they don’t pose a restricting factor. I’m baffled as to my own motivation. All I know is that I’m strangely compelled to get a Monroe lip stud (upper lip). And very soon.

I was thinking of a centre labret but changed my mind. Also, an option is a tongue ring but I like food too much to not eat for three days and then only minimally for a further week.

Drama ExAm strEsS

It seems all I do is complain about Drama but it is currently the most frustrating and time-consuming aspect of my life. Along with our three intense practical exams which, needless to say, consumed much (I emphasise much) of my time throughout the second semester we have two theory papers. Because they pile on the work practically wouldn’t one be sufficient?

What surprised me about the June theory exam for Drama is the level of work they actually expect. I find myself less worried about my English exams, a completely theoretical subject, than the upcoming Drama theory papers. A little bit strange, no?

The problem really lies in the lack of theoretical input throughout the year. The lectures are often useless (with a few exceptions of course). We therefore end up having to do some serious self-study cramming when it comes to exam time. We weren’t even given notes on some of the sections we need to study and others have no published material. Thumb sucking doesn’t work either because they expect us to reference (in an exam!?!?)

Ok final complaint (I promise there shall be no more!): the department also decided to put our exams on the 1st and last possible days. I am missing half of Woodstock thanks to this subject.

A learning curve for me

A learning curve for me
This module was very hectic for me but at the same time I have learnt a lot of things professional and personally about me. This terms work required us to plan our work and work as group. And for me that was really good because I learnt how to work with people though it was kind of hard at the same time because you had to plan the time for your meetings with your group, where sometimes some of your group members couldn’t make it so you had to wait or reschedule.
This course has allowed me to grow as an individual because it has allowed me to voice out what I think and made me realize or rather understand the society better. At the same time I must say, the course has been emotional removing for me because of the work load and the pressure we were always working under. I had times when I felt like leaving everything and go home because I felt like I couldn’t keep up with everything that was happening and what was expected of us to do.
Through everything that was been happening personally for me, I must say that this course has thought me more about journalism like working under pressure but still meeting deadlines. During the course we had to do a lot of research and it was very hard with the work and people not willing to contribute anything but at the end of the day you had to come up with a story. The research that we had to do on this course mostly involved students and from that I have learned to be patient with people make people trust and see me as a student not as journalist and also to interact with them in a good way.
Personally the course has made me understand different people. It was very emotional for me the interviews that I had with people were very sad because they told me their stories and put their trust in me and I didn’t trust myself with that keeping people’s secrets. I remember asking myself how people can still go on when they have so much on their shoulders. I felt like all the things they told me were just a big rifle place in my shoulders. Because now their problems were now mine because I had asked them to tell me their life stories. I remember one night when I cried my self to sleep after I had an interview with Itai Wanyuku for my profile it was like everything in my life was just to perfect Because of what his been through. Through everything I learned that you need to show your sources that you care about them while interviewing them, so they can see you are not a journalist passing by looking for a story but you are that person who is willing to listen to them and tell their stories. The course has been hectic but I believe it has made us strong and grow personally and professionally.
The course was very useful to use as journalist students because it included everything we have covered through out the year. It included all types of genres. It was very practical because we were applying all theories that we have covered narratives and profiles. It was also relevant to use as first years because it’s where we got a chance to express our selves and get to know each other about everything that has been happening.

Alohol as a social crutch: Outtaurspace

Red Moonrise: To Booze or Not To Booze

I agree that a ban on alcohol won't solve anything. What worries me most about this issue is the way alcohol is relied on as a social crutch. Read my post about it.

Hibernia Girl: Liam Egan and The Sunday Times misunderstand how many "native Irish" are Muslims

Hie i like these issues discussed here and i think you would like reading one of my articles in http:www.outtaurspace.blogspot.com about the varsity identity crisis.

Out of your SPACE

Why should people be uncomfortable with their different religious backgrounds?

Out of your SPACE: THE SENILE ADVENTURES OF DR. CHITTY

Out of your SPACE: THE SENILE ADVENTURES OF DR. CHITTY

Confessions of a Crazy Couch Potato: Rhodes: An oppertunity for losers to become "the shit"

Confessions of a Crazy Couch Potato: Rhodes: An oppertunity for losers to become "the shit"
Hey FA

I agree somewhat with your argument. I know one person, in particular, who had a hard time in high school. This completely changed when he came to Rhodes and he now has the audacity and bravado to proclaim, “I’m so popular” at two minute intervals.

This aside, you speak about the issue like it’s something that’s happening to everyone or at least the majority of students. This doesn’t hold up to your argument that Rhodes is an accepting place and you also don’t provide enough evidence that this is a trend on campus. You are making broad generalisations with a scrap of substantiation which is hardly worth pointing out.

If Rhodes is, as you say, so very accepting I doubt all “Girls who used to spend Friday nights at sleep-overs” have turned into “binge drinkers”. You don’t make it clear that you are only speaking about a small amount of girls on campus.
Although I have shown, through my example, this type of metamorphoses from ‘loser’ to arrogant social butterfly does happen I also know many more people who have not changed.

You site only one example of ‘girls’ speaking about how ‘guys’ have changed. This is still far too broad. You should have enlightened us to a specific case on which you could have elaborated in a bit more detail. That would have strengthened your argument.

But I know what you mean all the same.

Greenas

JoURn 2 StreSs

I realise and accept that the Journ Department works the way it does for a reason. I know they can only accommodate a certain number of people in second year and that is why we have to apply and wait patiently to see if we are one of the 120 accepted. I realise this. I really do, but it doesn’t change the fact that people are freaking out right about this time of year because they’re in a position of uncertainty regarding their future.

I know people who have based their studies on journalism and turned their lives upside down to get to Rhodes. If they don’t get into Journ 2 they will be crushed. So what? They didn’t work hard enough, right? Wrong.

I have no idea how this selection process works but it seems slightly, er … strange. I have spoken to people whose vac work has been in order, whose marks were up to scratch and whose journalistic passion was intact and who are currently repeating Journ 1.

Granted these could very well be unreliable sources but where there is smoke there is fire?Perhaps not, but it still evades me when I hear about people getting 60s and 70s throughout the year and not making it.

MuGginG in ThE dRama DepaRtMEnt

Keeping with topic 'psychological trauma', it was one of my friends who got mugged inside the drama department recently. She was going to an exam rehearsal in the middle of the day. She was looking for a space to rehearse with someone from her group at the top floor of the department when one of two juvenile delinquents preceded to threaten them with a knife. The worst thing about this episode was not that my friend lost her phone, ipod and wallet. It was the fact that she was robbed while preparing for an exam inside an academic department.

We are supposed to feel comfortable when we rehearse. We certainly shouldn’t feel frightened of going to the drama department in the middle of the day!The situation was obviously traumatic for my friend. A visit to the drama department will be unsettling for her, to say the least, for a while to come. The fact that other departments have such intense security seems slightly, how do you say, not right eh? At the drama department there isn’t a chipping system and access is not difficult. The security guard outside can only do so much as he/she can’t differentiate between all students and non-students.

I am a tad perturbed at the prospect of spending much of my time in an environment where I don’t feel safe.

EcPSyCholoGy

My last post was about counseling and how I’m not sure looking inward will solve any problems. I recently read a book by Theodore Roszak entitled The Voice of the Earth. It speaks about how our current way of life is completely insane because of how we so heedlessly and guiltlessly destroy the environment. He speaks about a sense of ecospsychology as something we have lost and need to regain if we want to survive on the planet and ultimately become a sane species.

Ecospsychology revolves around a broad understanding and appreciation for one’s surroundings. A consciousness attitude towards nature is advocated because that is where everything we have originates. This ideal of looking outward is exactly what I feel is needed. If people weren’t so self-centred and began to consider not only other humans, but the planet as well, we could perhaps move forward as a civilization. We can’t, as it currently stands, with the masses and masses of money-obsessed people everywhere you turn.

I wonder if the person I know would recover somewhat if she begun to understand this. So I suppose the next problem is how we can get people to understand this concept and embrace a more considerate mentality. Whether this is even possible is debatable.

CounSEling = cUre??

Many of us have issues. *Crosses out and keeps distinctively in line with blog theme* Many of us feel alienated at times which can cause psychological trauma. A sense of alienation is I think the root of many people’s issues. Whether it’s a childhood incident that causes us to inwardly question our worth in society or the onset of depression in the university environment because of social or work factors that put us in an uncomfortable position, many people do have a lot of psychological stress.

What I am skeptical about is counseling as a way of dealing with these issues. I know a person close to me who has serious mental troubles (eating disorders, compulsive lying, and depression). She has been to counseling. She has even gone to a psychiatric hospital. I’m not sure if the path to recovery is just very lengthy but I don’t believe counseling helped the situation at all.

My logic is that, in this situation anyway, she is so introspective. She can’t see how wonderful her life is. She spends all her time thinking about herself and what is wrong. She goes to counseling to talk about herself. The whole process is introspective. She won’t be fully able to appreciate anything if she doesn’t start taking anything else in.

I am not being insensitive because I have supported this person through and through. I have also had my own issues but the way I deal with them is to look outward. It makes my problems seem miniscule.

I would like to hear people’s thoughts on this matter.

The Drama Department OwNs My SuOL

I take drama as a subject and I thoroughly enjoy it. I think…?

Drama itself is really quite lovely but the amount of time and effort put in to create this lovliness almost doesn’t seem worth it. For the entire year I have been running back and forth from res to the drama department, speed eating in the dining hall and pushing all my other assignments aside (not to mention my social life) for a late night rehearsal or 12.

Ok, I’m exaggerating a little bit. Well, at least in the light of some of the poor souls involved in 3 productions or more. Actually, how dare I complain?! Wait, I do have a right to complain because even if I am not as involved as those other mentally deranged drama students I still spend a disproportionate amount of time on only one of my subjects.

A subject that I am not even certain I will take as a major. It is an option but not a concrete one. Assuming I get into Journ 2 which is scarily becoming a prospect not to be realised I am having a tough time choosing my other major. I will save this Journ 2 issue for another blog post.

Ok, I have to go. I’m off to the drama department. Surprise surprise.

BloGinG bLueS

At the beginning of this semester I was extremely excited and enthusiastic at the prospect of setting up a blog. I thought I would interact with the technology completely comfortably and start blogging on a daily basis. While the technology is not very difficult to grapple with my, initial enthusiasm has depleted. Completely. I look at the next assignment with a lethargic eye.

I suppose this happens with most things to most people. It’s still frustrating though: when the momentum fizzles. A simple psychological off-putting aspect and it’s history. I suppose I shouldn’t beat myself up about it because I do take five subjects so I am quite pressed for time but it doesn’t change the fact that I envisioned this blog to be otherwise.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t work hard and pile on an unnecessary amount of work. It always seems like a good idea at the start and people say: “It will stand you in good stead for the future [bla bla bla]”. In retrospect I am always happy with the extra I have done but sometimes I wish I could be happy and stress-free in the moment.

Wow, I sound emo. Mood: apathetic. But hey, I’m writing this blog about being de-motivated which is the first step to motivating myself again. It’s a pity the course ends in a week.

SObEr AlieN? (OPINION PIECE)

Alien:
Extraterrestrial being
Somebody who does not belong to or does not feel accepted by a group or society
Outsider
Outside somebody’s normal or previous experience and seeming strange

With the exception to the “extraterrestrial being” part we can all relate. Whether we feel like an alien most of the time or only on infrequent occasions, feeling alienated is not an alien condition to us Rhodents. This established, the problem surfaces in the way we cope with our alienation. Too many of us rely on the notorious drinking culture we are introduced to in o-week to make things ‘alright’.

As I peruse the Journ 1 blog entries I’m not surprised to see how many revolve around the subject of alcohol. The theme we were asked to work under for the creation of our blogs was “surviving first year”. The conclusion one has to come to is that alcohol is a central means first years are using to ‘survive’. Now, is this such a terrible thing? I don’t want to go into a lackluster lecture concerning the dangers of alcohol but I do want to comment on the way students, in particular, are reaching a point of complete social dependence on this substance.

In the profile blog entitled ‘Surviving First Year’ Christine Spence is described as desperately trying to fit in during o-week. She alerts us to the initial superficiality of her friendships. Only during a “drunken night” did they have their first consequential exchange (or what many students refer to as a DMC: deep, meaningful conversation). It was alcohol that allowed them to ‘connect’. Another first year profile sites Kezia Swanepoel as feeling like an “awkward turtle” as she tried “fervently to blend” in. Unsurprisingly the very next thing the journalist alerts us to is Kezia’s binge-drinking habit.

The problem with relying on alcohol to feel comfortable and ‘fit in’ is that one cannot be permanently inebriated. We have to, at some point, interact with people in a state of sober consciousness. The alcohol route is acceptable and appropriate in most relaxed social settings but what happens during a normal day? Using alcohol as a crutch in this way compromises our everyday interactions. We do not acquire social skills, or only very minimally, without some wine in us. The result is that inter personal relationships are becoming more and more difficult to navigate when sober. I personally find it difficult to speak to some people without a substantial amount of alcohol thinning my blood. Are we becoming socially retarded? It seems as though we are removing ourselves further and further from reality into a false way of life. I do realise alcohol is not used in this way by all students so I will make it clear that this does not apply to everyone. But the blog profiles, although by no means an indication of statistical research, display a worrying trend applicable to many if not most of us.

More than an attack on student life I am expressing what I suppose can be referred to as disappointment in the way people of today interact. When we can only bond as people through a mind altering substance, what does that say about the direction in which humanity is stumbling?

If it wasn't hard it wouldn't be worth it.......

If it wasn’t hard it wouldn’t be worth it…..
If you want to check out the blog opinion piece I am commenting on, this is the link http://www.1styearspread.blogspot.com, I commented on the piece that was written by the Godmother.
The person who wrote the letter was very subjective, she was only thinking about herself only. She wrote this opinion piece according to her experience only. I don’t think the work load here at Rhodes is unreasonable to use as students. If someone thinks the work load is unreasonable, they can go to another University where there is not much work. If it wasn’t hard it wouldn’t be worth it, and the fact that other students still manage to get distinctions it means it is possible for anyone to get them if you work hard. The reason Godmother failed all her subject it’s because she was not doing her work up to her optimum. Rhodes is an institution where leaders learn not losers so it has to be hard.

Our ambitious lectures

Our ambitious lectures…..


The link of the blog comic I’m commenting on is http://www.firstyearblood.blogspot.com

I thought the photo comic was brilliant and very funny. I liked the way they made a link to all our lectures and what they do. It was very interesting and it accommodates every first year journalism student. But I felt like there was no plot in terms of the characters. They didn’t use Todorov’s and Propp’s theories. The initial equilibrium was present; it was when all students were excited about joining the journalism soc. There is no hero, they only have villains. The disruption occurred when the lectures ate their money and I felt like the students were the princess because they needed help. The second equilibrium is not clear whether it’s reached or not because the students have not achieved anything but they are quitting, which makes it vague as to who is the hero.

Homosexuality at Rhodes

Homosexuality at Rhodes….

I really admire the University that it is encouraging students to be proud of their sexual status, whether they are gays or lesbians. Looking at other universities students still die because they are scared of what other people might say to them about their sexual status. As much as I really admire the University for this, I believe that they have forgotten about the straight students that they even exist on this campus. When you walk around campus you see people going around saying they are lesbians but when they go home they are not. The old students have corrupted a lot of first years, who came here straight but because lesbianism and being gay is a fashion at Rhodes they have lost their values and joined the crew because of the influence of their senior students. I know and understand that I am nobody to judge because I’m not perfect myself. But I feel like the University has totally forgotten to encourage people to be proud or rather to come out of the closet about their HIV status. How many marches have we had this year about how people should be proud of their sexual status, but not even a single person has ever come out and said I am HIV positive. But half of the campus is homosexual and they are proud of that because they are encouraged to be. This lesbianism thing affects other people who have nothing to do with it because they start asking out innocent people, innocent people become victims of gay people and lesbians. Not only that, they start imposing their beliefs to everyone and expecting everyone to except them because of who they are. Forgetting that we are all different and come from different cultures and some of the things that people do here to some of us are considered as taboos. I didn’t want to ask this but I am going to ask, the reason people are being encouraged to be proud of their sexualities is it because some of the administration staff and some SRC members are homosexual? So now we are all expected to conform to their way of doing things or they are trying to make them feel like what they are doing is good by imposing their beliefs to everyone. I will suggest the University to look at more important things like encouraging students with AIDS &HIV to live positively. Students are only encouraged to live positively with their HIV &AIDS status during the Shark week only and after that they never speak about it. A lot of students around this campus are still denial about HIV AND AIDS because they are scared of what people to say if they found out they are HIV positive. I strongly believe that this homosexual thing is temporally and it is corrupting the poor first years who are trying to fit in. We all know that we have more girls than boys around the university and that Grahamstown can get a bit lonely sometimes, but please don’t use this as an advantage for homosexual people over straight people.

THE SENILE ADVENTURES OF DR. CHITTY

''BE IN IT TO WIN IT'' WHO IS THE REAL RHODENT?

WIDE OPEN VOICE‘

BE IN IT, TO WIN IT’, WHO IS THE REAL RHODENT?

Well, well, well it’s one such a thing that rocks students’ lives at Rhodes. Myths are still lying even in the heads of the lecturers, students and Grahamstown itself about who a real Rodent is? Some say that for you to win it you should be in it. Should status and identity be achieved by being part and parcel of Rhodes academic sphere? Can one acquire the title of being a real Rhodent by being a student at Rhodes?By the virtue of acquiring a place at Rhodes and giving my last smile to my family members who were at the Zimbabwean airport watching me ascending into the boeing 777 that could leave me in South Africa made me to have a strong feeling of pride sweeping into my nerves and going deep into the deeper parts of my blood, that at last I’m the real Rhodent.
For you to win this title where are you supposed to be and what is the determinant qualification? One of such a week which was termed Tri-varsity made me to pop into the purple dressed people walking up and down the Rhodes Street. To them, satisfaction was within them that being part and parcel of the Trivarsity competitors meant that they are the real Rhodents going to represent the name and colour code of the widely recognised University. Is it a matter of taking part into the activities that are done for you to be recognised as a Rhodent? Every person was talking about Tri-varsity and some of the innocent first year student would just hang about with the other grown up students who knew much about Tri-varsity spirit. Would you feel that you are not areal Rhodent if you do not take part in these activities?
If we trace back to the memories of our parents left back at our own homes and countries, they would tell you that, ‘listen daughter, you need that white paper with the degree and you can claim to be a real Rhodent.’ How can I know that you are a real Rhodent if you do not have that certificate which act as evidence enough for you to be a real Rhodent. So, should we say that those who haven’t yet acquired this paper cannot stand up in the lecture theatres, tut rooms and seminars declaring that they are Rhodents? Even I, myself I would cry and say to myself I’m a real Rhodent because the first guy I met during the orientation week who is in third year told me that you can become a real Rhodent after writing June exam. So I qualify because I wrote the June exams which awakened me and instructed me to leave high school habits behind.
It was such a refreshing moment when I was taken by my friends into Port Elizabeth just for weekend refreshment after a busy week. We were in one of the prominent pubs where we were joined by these other guys who introduced themselves as Fort hare Taliban’s. They just observed me for about half an hour and one of them said’ why are you not taking alcohol? I looked into his eye and simply said,’ I don’t drink.’ If you don’t drink you should be smoking and if you don’t smoke you should be a person who likes sex too much. To me it was such a surprise and he simply calmed down the stresses and wrinkles that had formulated onto my forehead by saying that, you cannot say that you are a Rhodes student if you are not partaking in one of the things that I mentioned. This was one such an incident that left me speechless when it comes to this issue of being a Rhodent. If you are not in it, should we say that you are not winning it?
Shakespear once said that, ‘to be or not be that is a question’ but as for me, it does not matter to be or not to be but what matters most is what you want to be

Other Blogs...

Well, since RUconnected has been down this entire weekend, I browsed though some of the blogs on this site, hoping to find a few JMS1 blogs.. Which I did, and I love what everyone has done with theirs. Came across an "interesting" one though. I am not sure if this blog was set up for academic reasons-like the JMS1 blogs, or if it's a legit blog....
Anyway, I found it interesting... have a look, if you are as curious as I was... lol
it's simply titled- RU Gossip girl.

If anyone knows whether this is for real or not, please do let me know as well...

curious cat

Her story.... Profile article

On the outside, she has a look of sheer confidence and she seems little bothered, if at all, about anyone else’s opinion of her. “I initially chose Rhodes because of its’ excellent reputation for Drama and the performing arts,” Deborah tells me with an excited look and a hint of hopefulness in her voice.”But when the reality finally became a reality, I had no real choice but to forget about studying Drama.” Her story seems almost too common, where a young hopeful goes to university in hopes of studying something she is passionate about but ends up studying what society claims to be more beneficial.
Three terms gone and she still has an emptiness she can’t even begin to describe. The main reason being the academic reason she thought she’d be fulfilling here. “ I picked subjects by only thinking of the possible career paths that would be open for me in future, and I also decided on two “arbs”, not knowing of course, that they would be everything but “arb”. Her arbitrary subjects of choice were Introduction to Philosophy and Journalism and Media Studies one. As an excellent academic high school graduate, academic challenge was the last thing she expected. “Since work was fairly easy for me in the first term, I decided it’d be fun to just live a little while I’m here. I mean hey, I will be spending nine months of every year here, but that didn’t work out the way I’d hope it would.” Nights out at club Equilibrium are not a regular thing for her, neither are parties or pre-drinks sessions at friend’s residences. Instead Deborah spends most of her nights alone in her room, contemplating options out of her academic hell or just sleeping. Throughout third term, she spent approximately 13hours in her room and of those, she says, at least eleven sleeping. “ I wasn’t surprised at all when days would literally come and go for me. I figured I was falling again, and so I just let it be because for someone like me, there is absolutely no point in trying to ‘fight’ it.” Falling, she says. She first “fell” (her own words) back in 2003. Even after months and months of intensive therapy and anti-depressants, she would find herself “falling” once again occasionally. Since 2003, six whole months haven’t gone past where she doesn’t “fall” for at least a month or two. “It’s hereditary”, she soon explains, after realising that her choice of words could be a bit ambiguous. “Major neurological imbalances cause me to fall, as in almost literally, hit rock bottom with my clinical depression.” She admits that a part of her chose Rhodes because of its relatively small size. “Small places make me more comfortable, because if I end up crying for help, someone will hear my call.” A hint of desperation in her eyes, she leaves this idea of “calling for help” open to interpretation. I suppose the more open minded reader can understand the suicidal implications.
“No, I never actually feel like doing it again.” Her simple response when I asked her if, after her three failed attempts since 2003, she has considered suicide again. In her eyes, it is not worth it. “Not because people say it’s selfish to try to take my own life, but because I feel I have exhausted any practical methods available to me. So I’m just planning to live it out, yes, even with those mornings that come so often when my body just refuses to get out of bed and really live.” Her academic situation is of course, heavily affected by this. And although she appreciates all that her parents have done to get her this far, she has no intention of wasting their money and disappointing them. “So I do all the living I can, even if I just manage to have one full day of academic attendance and social living a week. For me, right now, it’s enough that I’m still living.”

**Writer’s note: I decided to go with this story because I personally value the fact that she still believes in living, although a faint belief, but she still has it. So this might not be the story of a typical “hero”, but it has strong elements of a “survivor” and a hero, because she chooses life every single day.

No matter where you come from you can be whatever you want to be, as long as you believe in your self. Itai Wanyuku is living proof of this. Determination is what keeps Itai going. Itai comes from a village called Mutade in Zimbabwe. The 22 year old young man is currently a first at Rhodes University doing a B Com, being at Rhodes to him it is like a dream come true when looking back where he comes from. Itai grew up living in a mud build house, herding cows and fetching water from the river.
Itai is a very anti-social person. He doesn’t have friends because he believes that he is here to study, not to make friends. When he goes to the dining hall, he seat and eat by himself and not talk to anyone nor say hi to anyone. Before he starts eating he closes his eyes and bows his head and prays. When he goes to lectures he walks by himself carrying a big bag with all his text books. On his right wrist he has a watch that was gold but now it’s bronze, he says the watch belonged to his mother. After each lecture he looks at the watch and rushed to another lecture. “I hate being late because it disrupt my classmates and the lecture” says Itai. He spends 95% of his time studying. He even sleeps at the 24 hour library. He is always wearing training shoes with black and red tracksuits. He has this tiny smile that he gives you when speaking to him, and he never looks at you straight in the eye. He bows his head all the time, when he’s walking even when he’s talking.
His home boy Thabo* described his character as complicated because he is always alone, saying nothing to anyone but sometimes you see him laughing and joking with his housemates. Thabo* says, the Zimbabwe issue is what makes him talk because he doesn’t want people criticizing Zimbabwe. Thabo* reckons that he feels like it’s his duty to portray a good picture of Zimbabwe.
He describes himself as a shy person. He grew up in a nuclear family and unfortunately when he was in grade eight his parents passed away. The death of his parents brought a big change in his life, where he had to go and live with his uncle and he also had to drop out of school but two years later he returned to school. “My people are very backwards and don’t understand the importance of education.” said Itai. After matriculation the chief told him not to further his studies just so that he could start working as he is the only one left in the family.
He said that the reason he doesn’t talk too much is because of the way he was brought up, and being the only child at home also played a big role. He feels like he doesn’t fit in the society of Rhodes because of his background and the way he dresses. He says, he is still mourning for his parents and that is why he is still wearing his mothers watch because it’s the only link he has with his mother. They died when he was very young and he didn’t understand what was happening, it’s now that he realises that something important is missing in his life.
“My schooling at Rhodes has taught me a lot of things about life.” Itai said. His background is what inspires him and makes him strong. He wants to be everything that his parents wanted him to be and he does not want to disappoint them in any way, what he want the most is to make them proud. He said no matter what obstacles you come across along the way you just have to know who you are, because a hero lies within you.

Stranger to Smuts

Stereotyping is a slippery staircase to step onto. Never mind the fact that the stereotypes are always changing, but they never seem to fully apply to anyone. With this noted, the stereotypical (and arguably typical) ‘Smuts’ boy is not Michal Blaszczyk.

Once you get past the strange name, you come across what can be described as a fairly strange person. Or, perhaps, he is only strange when seen walking behind a muscle-ridden, mullet-sporting ‘jock’ on his way out of Jan Smuts residence *laughs at the pun on ‘sporting’*. The only thing these two seem to have in common (besides the accident of harmonised living quarters) is that they both wear slippers upon their feet. Michal, however, does not adorn the same rugby shorts or arrogant smirk paraded by said ‘jock’.

Michal is not a fan of the Union or Friar Tucks (another characteristically ‘jock’ social location). “The only time I go to Friars is when I wake up the next morning with a stamp and can’t recall the previous evening’s events”.

The ‘jock’ profile doesn’t quite leave any space for Michal to insert his tall, skinny body. He does not play sport. He does not have a large group of testosterone-driven male friends. He does not actually have any friends in his residence. His social habits are different, “I’m not into going out and getting drunk [thinks for a moment]. Ok I do go out and get drunk but it’s not the same”. Perhaps the alcohol comparison was not the best illustration of the vast gap between Michal and a ‘jock’. A better one, for example, is the way in which Michal professes his affinity for English. This is followed by a flitter of a shy smile. The simple statement which he utters, “I like reading” is something very alien to a ‘jock’ tongue.

Over and above the fact that he does not fit in socially in Jan Smuts he finds that the dining hall itself does not hold much of an attraction. At a typical breakfast, lunch or dinner he prefers to sit by himself. He has friends in other halls with whom he socialises. Michal also finds the general atmosphere of the dining hall unpleasant. “I can see why they say Jan Smuts is the worst dining hall. It smells,” he turns up his mouth as he recalls his experiences. He adds, “It looks like animals have been eating there”.

Often described by his friends as a ‘drama kid’ Michal realises he doesn’t quite fit into his residence’s image. This aside, he has comes to terms with his situation. “Ja I suppose like I’m a bit eccentric compared to many of the guys in Smuts but I’ve gotten used to it.” Needless to say Michal has decided to go the digs route next year. It will certainly be a new experience living with a bunch of drama students

IN THE COMMUNITY
PROFILE OF A FIRST YEAR STUDENT
Communities comprise of a wider range of racial groups, religious groups and backgrounds. Rhodes University is one of the communities that offer a wider range of people from religious backgrounds thus creating a rainbow nation which facilitate the development of religious facts which might end up in some coercion. It was one such an afternoon when I collided with Nicky Moubray whilst we were waiting for Law tutorial.
Nicky is a first year student who is doing Bachelor of Arts degree majoring in Law and Classical studies. She is 19 years old and she comes from Gauteng province. Nicky was so happy being a Rodent because it was one of her wishes to experience university life. After spending many years with her parents she had never experienced a life without parents being closer to her offering comfort. She was pretty happy with almost everything she found at Rhodes. The problem came when she was not offered the type of food she needed. To this issue, it was no laughing matter to her, her face became a mirror which broadcasted far fetched thoughts. Different dried food was placed on her table and to that, she said was the supplement she resorted to after the warden had failed to organise something from the dining hall. On the dietary issue, life was no longer an easy going way because she was also having weight loss.
From her memory recall, she said that when she was still at home she just thought that she might encounter several problems in trying to interact with people from different religious backgrounds because she is from a Buddhist. Nicky used to perceive non Buddhists as lost people without direction but after having encountered many non Buddhists she began throwing some compromises about some of the beliefs. Sparkles struck her face when she recited a day when she was just caught up in a conversation with a lady from the Muslim religion. ‘I spend four hours trying to convince her about our religious view but she ended up convincing me on other issues that I failed to give answers’’, she laughed loudly, ‘ she is now my friend although I used to say that I don’t want to befriend non Buddhists .’
Religion to Nicky is what sustains her because when she speaks about Buddhism, she tries to capture your attention by giving a vivid explanation and try by all means to indoctrinate religious morals in you. Nicky describes Buddhism as a religion of the western and central Asia growing out of the teaching of Gautama Buddha that maintains sorrow and suffering are inherent in life and that one can be released from them by ridding oneself of desire and self delusion. Her voice reached a high pitch when she said that, People need to reach this stage of enlightenment, I also want to be like Buddha.’’ To them there is no heaven or hell, but punishment is so immediate because if misfortunes, illness and all bad things happen to them they are not yet enlightened, so it is a punishment for failure to live well. One way of enlightenment, is through the daily routines of meditation which is carried by sitting and paying attention to what is happening in their bodies.
One of the happy moments was when she was told a story of Buddha by her mother. There was a man who had a wife who was so lazy and could not do her dishes, clean the house or cook. She was only there to sit and sleep. Buddha paid a visit to them and told her that there were seven types of women. There are, murderers who destroy their husbands by running with other husbands. There is a thief who uses his husband and run away with other men after obtaining all the wealth. There is a friend type of a woman who is an equal partner and loves her husband whole heartedly. The mother type of a woman babies everyone and scolds the husband as she does to her children and lastly the slave type of a woman who is just an object of oppression. Lastly, she chooses to be the slave woman.

Subject nightmares

I commented on Steve's blog: http://www.intermsoftomatoes.blogspot.com/ to his younger self. He spoke about subject choices and how he finally made his decision in this regard. I wish I was as certain as he is in what he has decided.

should've known better...

Dearest Capable but naive one,
I realise that this letter will serve as a reflection of who you once were, and who you are now. But I must appreciate the fact that those two people are not entirely different from one another. The reflection will mainly result from a realisation of the somewhat ‘expected’. You went through two years of A-Levels, where you learnt all about responsibility for yourself and the choices you make. I say this because I never thought that I would be sitting here today thinking “If only someone had warned me...” That is not something you of all people should be thinking. But I suppose everything that happens, does so for a reason. And with that in mind, you walking into this degree thinking you would have major problems with subjects you chose was perhaps a little naive. Yes it is true that you always find a way to make it through whatever academic situation, but come on now... Even at first year university level, you should have expected that academic work would be a tad heavy and would actually require you to do some work. But then again, I appreciate that you really did think the subjects you opted for were the best possible options for you, and so you never expected that you would be sitting somewhere, eight or so months down the line wondering why you made such choices. It is sad, but it is your reality. Walking into anything while you are blind to the fact that you will actually have to do some work, instead of just getting by only on your “common sense” was a major mistake. And I would like for you to appreciate this, it will catch up with you at some point. Not having failed as yet, is no guarantee.

Yours in you... Sincerely

my younger self...

Dear Angela
I haven’t heard from you for a long time. But I still remember the last time you wrote to me, when you asked me how was I doing? And you told me about how excited you were to start a new life in University. Well, lately I was thinking a lot about you and about the question you asked me and I think it’s only fair for me to tell you this now rather than later.
I’m not doing well to be quite honest. I always thought varsity life was the best thing ever but it’s not. There are things that I always took for granted like making friends and fitting in. I always thought making friends was the easiest thing anyone can do but now I have realized that it’s not. When I got here I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t understand how to make people accept me for who I am.
I remember those endless days and night when my soul was dying with sorrow, heart aching with pain and I would cry myself to sleep. I even remember saying to myself I’m not here to make friends or to fit in but I’m here to study. But eventually I realized what was wrong with me. I looked myself in the mirror which reflected where I was coming from and where I was. Then I realized that I was the girl from rural areas with nothing less and nothing more, but where I was everyone was coming from this well know suburb and they had something to say about themselves which I didn’t have.
But through everything I told myself that I wasn’t going to change for the sake of fitting in, because I wanted people to accept me for who I am. Though this was tough road for me, I went to doctors and clinical psychologist because now I was suffering from depression. Though people still had nasty things to say about the girl from rural areas.
One thing I have learnt from this experience is that if you believe you can weather any storm. Hope you will also learn something from my experience. Your altitude and determination will determine how far you go in life.
Love Aza

To My Younger Self

Dear Friend
It is my greatest pleasure to hear that you are still alive and kicking after we have been separated for a long time. I am pleased that you are coming to Rhodes University for your tertiary studies. This then serves as a great opportunity to share with you one of those experiences that even make me laugh even when I’m sad some of the times.
I’m very glad that I am at Rhodes University and that I would be there to give you the warmest welcome. One thing for sure is that what we expect to find at University is not what we would see. Especially a University like Rhodes which is formed by different students from all over the world which makes it a rainbow university gives rise to different societies. There are a wide range of societies, which people can affiliate to and they can join in the different types of entertainments which are provided by the different societies. Some of the societies are Zimsoc, Ansoc, Shark and Lesoc. When it comes to this issue of entertainment one needs to consider which exactly one needs to join.
It was such a brilliant Wednesday evening when my friend called me and said that we should go to Mullins where the societies were showcasing so that people could sign in for the societies of their choices. Inside my heart I was so glad that at least we have been welcomed by entertainment. I signed for almost eleven societies and little did I know that the affiliation fees would be subtracted from my student account. I realised it later that the money I had affiliated for was almost R2000. This meant that my printing credit, my money for handouts and money for vacation accommodation had been used up. I had to call mom and tell her that mom I had mismanaged my finances, to which she had to pour a few harsh words before sending money to me.
Sweety, you need to be careful and not sign in for every society but for those which you think can suit you. For you really know that a lot of salt in the soup will spoil it, likewise do not over do it.
Hope to meet you soon.
Your loving friend
Sharleen.

To MY Younger Self

Wake Up Mini Me!

Dear Younger Self

Right now you are most probably attempting (rather unsuccessfully as I recall) to study for your final Mathematics paper and have fallen into one of your deep fantastical reveries. Why you continued on higher grade and how you will pass with a C is still baffling considering the amount of daydreaming that has already crept and will continue to creep into your study hours. I don’t want to disturb your scurrying imagination but I think it might be better if I give you a little bit of insight into your future to prevent you from experiencing too much of a disappointment at how misled your view of life at Rhodes really is. You are now, as I was, under the misconception that Rhodes is a dreamlike, inconceivably liberal place, devoid of the things you hate so much about your hometown. It might well not be as closed-minded as ‘die klein dorp wat Srings genoem is’ but a surprisingly large number of infected rats have, unfortunately, found their way into the Rhodent community. It is still different though: you certainly won’t have to witness as much blatant prejudice-driven acts and attitudes as you do now, but the closed-minded mentality lurks here as it does everywhere in the world. Unfortunately there aren’t the 3000 or so hippies you expected: only a minority of dread-locked, bear-footed or sack-wearing inhabitants. Prejudice exists here even though it is a lot more undercover than you’re used to. You will discover that this is actually worse because you’ll become frustrated as you won’t know what to do about it. You won’t be able to be what is termed ‘weird’ without being labeled and placed in the minority group or at the very least given a few puzzled looks. And finally, although I don’t think this will deter you, you will get looked at ‘funny’ if you dye your hair green.

Good luck mini me,
Amy Green (from the future).